a dream I wish I dreamed.

"Wait, what? That doesn't seem physically possible!" I screamed as the stranger lifted 5 feet off the ground. "Anything is possible here! You just gotta believe!" he yelled back as he started going up higher and higher.

Let me just fill you in real quick. After a very bad and, to put it gently, weird science experiment, I became stranded on an island...not on Earth. At least, it didn't seem like Earth. After all, the sky was green, the grass was red, and the sand was blue. But considering the nature of the science experiment, it was also very likely that I blew out the receptors in my eyes, but I consider the former to be true based on the following events. I saw a duck fly past me. Not normal flying, mind you, but rather as if it was just shot out of a cannon.....a very greasy cannon. But this fact did not surprise me as much as the fact that the duck winked and said "yo" as he flew past me. At that point instinct kicked in as I said "sup, bro" and proceeded to go in for what is commonly known as "the bro hug", but by that time he was already gone, but not before leaving a pair of sunglasses in my outstretched hand. Naturally, I placed them on my devilishly handsome face while striking a pose, of which I will not go into too much detail. But it was a cool pose. Suddenly a stranger ran up, slapped me across the face, and started levitating all while humming the theme from the Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Then the above in italics occurred, and now we're all caught up. Yay. As he started rising, I noticed he took my sunglasses, which caused me to become greatly angered. Since flying was not an option for me on account of the fact that I wore a kilt, I decided to believe he was on the ground, and lo and behold, there he stood in front of me! At this point I became curious to test my hypotheses in regard to the compression/ tension ratio of my knuckles versus the right side of his cheekbone. Incidentally, this was the first step in the experiment previously mentioned, but I don't think now is the time to bore you with those details. After I retrieved my sunglasses, I noticed that enough time had passed for this stranger to recover from my hypotheses. Naturally, I decided to turn him into a firehydrant that was able to sing "Oh, Susannah" when used, since that is a relatively upbeat song with major chords to help anyone feel happy inside. After this event, I had an uneasy feeling as if my surroundings were incredibly boorish, which is when I noticed the massive forest behind me. Naturally, I decided to put the whole thing on fire, and attempt to placate the hungry flames with my newly acquired fire hydrant. This did not work, but I did feel rather happy inside on account of the song. Then I woke up....